Thando lolo olufunwa nangaphansi kwamatshe seluyise kwagoqanyawo abaningi besifazane.
|||NONTUTHUKO NGUBANE
UTHANDO oluqala kamnandi phakathi kwabantu ababili kusuke kungalindelekile ukuba luphethe ngesililo nokugobhoza kwegazi kodwa lokhu sekuyisimo esejwayelekile muva nje.
Bangabaleka bazephule besashelwa abesifazane uma kungathiwa owesilisa omshelayo uqhamuka ebhalwe esiphongweni ukuthi ngelinye ilanga nguye oyokhipha umphefumulo wakhe.
Ukuthandwa kuyinto efunwa cishe yiwona wonke umuntu, abanye benza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze baluthole lolu thando babodwa abathandazayo belucela, abanye bagijima izinyanga nezangoma beluncenga lolu thando.
Thando lolo olufunwa nangaphansi kwamatshe seluyise kwagoqanyawo abaningi besifazane.
Kule nyanga edlule Isolezwe selibike izigameko ezingaphezu kuka-10 zabesifazane ababulawa ngamasoka abo.
Izizathu ziyahluka omunye usuke esolwa ngokuba nesoka elisha, omunye isikhwele, omunye kubangwa imali, omunye usuke efuna kungahlukwana/kubuyelwane kanti kukhona nowabulawelwa ukuthi waya kobika isisu bengavumelene.
Ukhona nothi wayephuze kakhulu ingqondo yakhe yabe ingahluzekile ngenkathi ebulala intombi yakhe.
Ezigamekweni zakamuva nje singabala esikaNomusa Xaba waseDumbe owanqunywa ikhanda lahlukaniswa nomzimba yisithandwa sakhe maqede sazinikela amaphoyiseni.
Ngaphambi kwalokho owesifazane waKwaMaphumulo uNokulunga Khuzwayo (30) utholwe ebulewe kulandela ukunqunyiswa okwembuzi, kusolwa isoka lakhe.
Kwesinye isigameko esenzeke eNtumeni, eShowe, uXolile Sibiya (37) wagencwa wabulawa yisithandwa sakhe.
Khona eShowe uNomonde Biyela (16) watholakala ehlathini ebulewe, kusolwa isoka lakhe ayefunda nalo uGrade 11.
Kulezi zigameko kuvela ukuthi laba basuke bengamathe nolimi.
Usihlalo wezinyanga KwaZulu-Natal, uMnuz Sazi Mhlongo, uthe ziningi izizathu ezingaholela ukuba indoda ikhethe ukuqeda ngowesifazane athandana naye.
“Kunemikhakha eminingi kakhulu okungaba yimbangela yokubulawa kangaka kwabesifazane amadoda abo. Okokuqala nje uma owesifazane eseqala ukuvulela amathanga omunye umuntu wesilisa, bese isoka lakhe liyathola, kuvusa isikhwele esimangalisayo libone kungcono limbulale. Kokunye uthola ukuthi owesifazane uya enyangeni eyofuna umuthi ukuze ezodokotela uthando lwabo. Uthole ukuthi usebenzise umuthi owenza owesilisa ahlanye uma engekho eduze kwakho. Yingakho kusemqoka ukuba owesifazane uma uya enyangeni ahambe nayo indoda ngoba idala inkinga ekugcineni,” kusho uMhlongo.
USolwazi Nomagugu Ngobese uyale abesifazane abakhohlisa abesilisa ngothando ngoba befuna imali ngoba ekugcineni kuba muncu sekumele kuphele ubudlelwane.
“Ziningi izizathu ezenza ukuba abantu bagcine bebulalene. Abesifazane kumele bafunde ukuzimela ngoba isikhathi esiningi basuke befuna ukuzuza ngokwezinto ezibambekayo, bathandane nabafana khona bezothola imali. Kuthi uma sebenele bese beshiya phansi. Lokhu kudala ukuthi abafana babone sebelahlekelwe bese befuna ukubabulala ngoba bebona ukuthi kudlalwe ngabo kudliwa imali. Ukubulala kuba yindlela yokuziphindisela. Okunye abanye badlisa amadoda befuna abathande bese bayajika begcine sebengawafuni, uma sebefuna ukuwala kungabe kusenzeka. Idliso likaningi, abanye badliswa ngabasuke beganga nabo eceleni, babafake isichitho abanakwabo. Bese bebona laba abebethandana nabo beyizilwane bagcine ngokubabulala,” kusho uSolwazi Ngobese.
Udokotela wengqondo, uMnuz Manqoba Myeni osebenza eThekwini, uthe konke kuqala ekhanda kulokhu umuntu asuke ekucabanga.
“Yisikhwele esiholela ekutheni abantu besilisa bagcine bebulala abantu abasuke bethandana nabo. Konke kusuka engqondweni yomuntu osuke ecabanga ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwesithandwa sakhe. Abone kumele sife isithandwa sakhe kunoma sithandane nomunye umuntu. Lo wesilisa usuke engazithembi, abone impilo yakhe incike kuloya asuke ethandana naye,” kusho uMnuz Myeni.
Uthe baningi abesilisa abaya kodokotela bengqondo befuna ukulashwa ngezindaba ezithinta ukufuna ukubulala izithandwa zabo.
Uthe ngeke aphawula kakhulu ngokudliswa kwabesilisa ngoba kuyinto okumele ukholelwe kuyona kuqala wazi nokuthi isebenza kanjani.
USolwazi Velaphi “VVO” Mkhize uthe abesifazane kwasemandulo babengawusebenzisi umuthi wokudlisa kodwa ngamadoda ayeqinisa ngawo imizi yawo.
“Idliso akulona elabantu besifazane ukuthi balisebenzise kubantu besilisa, yingakho sebebulawa kangaka. Isikhathi esidlule indoda yayikhuleka unkosikazi wayo ngokumdlisa ukuze ezohlala ekhaya aze abe yisalukazi anganyakazi. Manje kunabesifazane abadlisa amadoda bese befuna ukuwashiya okudala isikhwele esimangalisayo esenza agcine ebabulele,” kusho uSolwazi Mkhize.
Uthe okunye okudala ukubulalana okungaka “wuthando lwemali” kubantu olwenza baqambe amanga bethi bayathanda kanti bafuna ukuzuza, uma sekuvela lokhu bese kugcinwa ngokubulalana.